May 4, 2016|
The Impractial Joke Off is here for Impractical Jokers tickets; Fat Boy got a vacation offer he couldn't refuse so it reminded Matt of a similar story from his childhood.
Fat Boy was approached by a friend of his to do something pretty out of the ordinary; Headlines; Wrap-Up
Headlines; Bras are evil ladies and it's time to let them go
Matt recaps his trip from Warped Tour yesterday; Nine's Best Damn Audio.
Jeff is extremely late today and might not make it for the first break; Headlines; Sports
Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)
The rise guys morning. He Beltran and. Vernon one on. Employ people learning from it is. John. We are. It took me down in Florida as an ex C clue. Let him play golf. Big guys do. Joselio. These rumors. We got to do that we're getting into this real quick and is now time for the rise guys. In practical joke golf. I TV's incredible Joker who will be live and end. Person as deep bonds of core wellness arena. When that's not entirely opening the show. He wobble going Intel Yugoslav people are asking why what is it with its advance number for you I'll love it there is. There's two issues involved there is three threes and for fortune there's also some liars needed you will always fire over the crowd. Yet to be there and say you'll find out. And I hope we don't pull a kiss concert from semi day I don't know man blow that be bad news on both parties and so. B of article Joseph Cox here's the way it's played real world sample. You call and right now 180774. Double 093180774. Double of 93. He tells Jeff your joke OK. Yes you have to you Jeff is they're here readiness he's facilitating the jokes and we knew come on EU. Tell us your Joker in it's going to be a quick when he gimme some long drawn out pregame story bless you AA needs to be a quickie. If you make to add this for a must laugh meaning neither myself Jimmy Jack and Jackie flub 00 or page brings weird to me here are more a matter non laugh page the last at all limit her she felt sorry for you she is such a politician. Armed if you make two out of before last you're gonna win just like that two tickets to tonight's show the Bonser core wanna strain in practical jokers. And mad men and nine for a brief moment at the beginning and it's just like that 1807742193. They got to be rise guys for in my. That doesn't mean you can't make us part that you hoped but it means that we don't get fired does not put an earlier this year that's the rules we don't want to get fired. We had mortgages and pets and bills and now the rest too hot. It is Brian Palmer now Palmer I really don't have their condition. Well groomed as a lot of openings for the cons as though it. The point 933 Gmail account bash right fat boy 8933. Gmail.com. If he sexually harass issue I apologize in advance all of gentlemen gentlemen. Czar nice gal but how did that MIA I know. I was gonna do a promo that prior to this but because we hadn't given on the numbers that I wanted to to say that again more coming on the OK here we go Boehner tried it and the page to me a favor and send out love you I do you hear your I gave you wait your wedding. Does anyone shooting more and gave you away. Really don't have. And we do is. Don't last and everything restrained but don't don't hold it and for that reason it didn't generally makes you laugh laugh I don't feel sorry for them. No sympathy laughter friends ran agreements. All right. Any particular order I should go in Najaf free okay what is good there in the order than. 69 down and Jones told good morning. The school in Jones moved today anything good to know. And I are very beautiful Luke who held this jostled for. Perry you're okay. All right. I'm gonna shut up I'm gonna Leahy do you joking then we'll see. What the punch line is Tbilisi UN came. Out here we gotta be impractical joke off with fuel and tiger cats 69. I get minority Cutler restored. Women that the gender card with extraordinary written except. What card. Do rednecks what card that does read what cards do rednecks can guess what. Go to court saying yes. Detroit guard. But it Donald Trump card. Well listen you keep it easy down there and tiger can't bail or wherever the hell your general James everything you tiger came back in the program better tackler and well here. It's an ethics when. I mean it was he had been at. You know whatever no commentary needed alien life let's go to Lou will and cache full. Analysts many political jokes criminal think you're from and a Maya will be in morning. I don't well he's there. It is good it is good I'd go ahead intelligent jokes for the impractical joke off to win tickets to see if Abuja prison in nine tonight bosh scored one Serena go ahead. I got these are 20 god who've been best friends alive and that you can watch pat liked. Well they got at pocono they decide for the first time they wanna go to a brothel. Well there are walking in a Matta looked at him and said I'm not gonna waste two women on the you know got. He could benefit Clinton says that go to just go put to blow up dolls and separated it will be dark and they want to know the difference. So when they were done in the middle but the bar and one trailer itself instead the focus about that it would not just all you. We got (%expletive) yeah probably model and then it got that what are your main you know well Jewish land there with a sand nothing more unbelievable what I'm not just couldn't don't. Oprah and looked until probably my grandmother which. Outlet what do you many. That way don't you just can't land there wouldn't do much up there that's spices up a little bit. And they'll do little hole I gave her little pot she couldn't blew up one. Who. Basement. It did have a great family game homeland as the last where you kind of laugh with your body but not when your mouth like it's like I've. Almost like it was indigestion. And a little it was a long way around the Dallas I was lonely this sort. It's cute girls Kim does not. Has shot that's right and I'm nervous at these news on the way out digest the seltzer and stay here the cable right now a summons as scary as you've been a guy. You. OK okay yeah him. Low end and Duncan good morning. Are well you sir. I don't dwell time let's go let's hear your Jeb for the impractical joke off to win the tickets for tonight at the well. I wanted to do it tickle me Elmo doll the port leave the factory. What do they give each tickle me Elmo doll before it leaves the factory. All of their new column. Given that you can't kick. Arlen. Voted number you know. And I'm not dead and Andy's I'm in real. We don't came out twenty years ago just warriors go right on hurt you had to play our well I lightbulb jokes. But you know OK I think I'll listen viewing. It is good visual ideas seem practical jokers I mean Jimmy tonight at the well. Ideally Jody impractical joke golf let's hear it. They're young blonde woman who was distraught because he didn't fear husbands having a player. There she goes to big Paula soft spot hurt governor. Mistake she comes home she'd find her husband in labor dispute or ray and I hit. But she grabs the gun and and hold it there were already at. The husband jumps Lebanese blatant Megan where they're you know and I'll follow you yourself are you step hysterically. The barn response to been. Shut up you're next. I resent it that's it I'll mansion in particular us. Like noble you things in the home and you might there's there's an open here doing them. Let's I don't credits obviously in this announcement Gloria. Let's go to he won Donna Joseph and hit Currie god hello good morning. Good morning. Harry used are very. Well think he. Talent on the missing it. Some funny happening here I wanna get my components on an error and it says okay then it's OK are you endowments so let's hear. All men and take about some isn't fair okay Donna did you go ahead we did you go ahead let's hear it. But I what conquer only cost 45 there. Would certainly cause 45 cents. Or do you care what nickel back. All right. They keep. Actually think grant. I'm sorry is it I've suggested we do this DA did I'm sorry I'm sorry and I. I'm sorry so does the dollar I'm sorry. I sent our hard times and his name's Donna don't got no sir it's like the sort of when and Robert Pastor. It's true we damaged vehicles. And he wind keep on trucking and is in Gaffney good morning. Borrow your way all year. It is good to have please in his make us laugh please go ahead nay. What color Bert you know Waterbury. What do you call a virgin laying on a waterbed. Oh. There's one way of course fat boy apparently there was one thing he drunken. This tabloid show his cards he's showing what kind of humor makes him laugh yeah yeah it. It's surprising airlines for the which Jared Harrell it and I think we laughed loses in fort. Lowered esta okay get a good everyday legitimate and again this. I was gonna. And I cowboys saved this wedges that make us laugh let's hear it. Well I just found out that our area is in Atlantic. Erin vineyard he. Thank you mama say to a lot but boy. I said that and then here wrote the moderate Verisign or religious summer event and now I sighed again we've heard it has got to leave it. Judging here over an average and still make you laugh but you know. As shoreline where we're where all of the where is sitting here on edge now not wanting to laugh that we get played this real. Just listen aren't as good an alleged city of Anderson and talk to Gordon border good morning. Is Gordon's and areas. I'll get his nature. All right I go ahead please when these tickets he practical jokers to I would mean Jimmy bond's record wanna strain this is being practical joke off make us laugh employees. Means. They're nervous. Go blonde to Brunette and a little red Alston and outside of a gas station. You know whether it be 100. Imports and bring them so that. It's so leveraging our go to December 1 she got a name atop the natural disaster. So they put another Burnett. It says that fortune after the western she says tornado that they could look at it is pretty good they put together and here she says. Earthquake he says that can't be afraid to go to its order the raunchy just fire any future. Only oval thank you sir Gordon manager restarted the blonde moment out of college and one was almost you know Saddam murmuring Iran danger in the summer territory in what they're Virginia say reported first hour. But oh man viewed stories in Virginia. Right one more slowly yeah and and then now we're gonna fired Jamie and then now allow him at the moment anymore so hey I don't. And board to make it jerks wrench if she want Elway led. Which holds on longer policy go to mock. Hey I'm very very low power away don't make his last let's aired practical joke well. And Elton Lou and here they'll Holler and scream and run murder so volatile. Sure airborne afoot or do you think people out and don't ever look now says okay pull it out. And Erica I would won't be whatever. The bullet out now they're got going. Made some lucky entry pared back and don't go and have not yet they're looking ever oh god they're hurt and go home bigger alliance in next year. How many we office and your most of now I've heard most. OK thank you mom. Did you know what do you mean chuckling when he said Echelon and ascent to the police didn't anticipate elephant and mr. Karzai and big get out what a pop for it. What happened just I don't I've been told who this guy for a minute and 35 seconds PM that is is joke. Was related to our artists have an idea he's good he's all. There's little Hezbollah essential and as long as D'Angelo has ever in my life. He's German John force. Drag racing suit for Zelaya you don't have what they have voiced worries. A good choice just you would ticket. Still excellent at that I learned the normal there was definitely out of the woods in this other Everett come. Okay what do we do. I don't know anymore or just later learned that from now on this and I Giuliani erosion and it's a good guys did you know life was saved us from DSL question today. Our apologies budget Ellsbury much affluence. And the polar as Asia's top predators helmets god bless our. Agent that delay 93 point three the planet dry. Right next morning show good morning you. It is what does it say 46. Real quick. What two things one if you ever really annoying voice in you don't already work on this show. If you ever really annoying voice they're looking for you. Friday 8 AM is going to be the rise guys most annoying voice in the AKP one blind Josh will be end. To be the judge. He is blind I imagine you'll understand matter if you never heard him on the show you get it back. That's why he's the judge did he won't see the boys are wealthy person Hilliard have always. And that only. The winner of the most annoying voice in the pew and family contests will win tickets to all three days at Carolina rebellion this weekend. And Charlie all three days not Friday not Saturday and Sunday all three days. Armed and in some other prizes as well everybody will win a parting gift we have three spots remaining. You have to be detained and if you have left AA if your guy and someone Gilbert Godfrey warrior woman you saw a friend Dresser aegis. I like they they girl cod and we had to pull that audio that it did not now day at some point. What was her name again and he said are you Jackie. Hayley yeah you may tie that if you got a voice that use fake or someone's told you voice is annoying. This is a way to use it for something awesome and I and that has to be in the rise guys most annoying voice and he wants and the contest saying your name age city and state and daytime phone number. Of fat boy 8933. At gmail.com. Again fab point 933. Hey gmail.com. As soon as possible we get three spots remaining for that he got to be a studio Friday at eight. Who also. Since that hollers. Our interviews or are within those quick I get a certain to real shout out serve hollers and then as a snap Pollard to Ryan Mathis. A dead and her deep behind it being more Tivo. UN captain and hot sauce and PJ Barrett and all of the co workers and precision connectors. In Newton North Carolina okay you can follow me on snatch sat at a Matthew OHM a FF VW. Browsers are people who had me mainly is more in our own. Chicken let him OG Amanda. Shouldn't let emerging RB essar Linda Marie T tail. And then also be one Boston trucker K Sprint's bill and Q and toward a law. Yes you in Detroit Paul I would not and show me your your snapped you would've won if he called and would edge out about it I think it terroristic. Went down barriers that made it nine from DRG. I want to say was set to my sister had a golden child I. I mean. There. Move it. Obama. And also my nephews in the car right now river in the the the oldest and now the new nephews sterling. Who probably don't go end to be the golden child as well early Anderson actually had now nude. Hollow. Armed and then on the way to Disney World right now to put yourself in this position you're in a car right now. With your wife and three kids going to Disney World so what's up to listening to us right now. Q1 never Jones and his wife land it's not. Three K I know she's like saints. Diane why should they never Jones. Many anyway that's a ten hour drive that is. I'll know I've I've done that drive in that drive is hails so Boise enters fondly by doing again he had to. Or parts arrive home did you broke. Yeah Ameritrade earmark for gas home got to have money for years on the gas and yet they give you room card is a credit cards they get you get down this 300 Kurt shipment. Thank you do. And Barack Obama. Going back to Disney. And we figure outs. I mean we'll take Tom also. Suzanne figure out a time when we left here you don't take time off. According everybody would take one every other week maybe they act like there it's where does say that we're there we go over Merrill Arab Rivera here. But for the last five months straight yeah when you know out of town some money the end and armament may have been Katie Dallas like every button. Memory I have of Disney World is negative. I mean it really is I think about the lines. I think like the other day you my kids who want to get back my friend road the ride soaring where you're you're soaring. Soaring. We lack Hank latter but the screens and and and and they blow wind engine everything's real fond but the lie and last time only when it was like 95 minutes. And that's that's hale there's no fast pies for sword well now they changed a fast pass somebody told me that they changed the fast fast you only can do one per day. LSU have one and gold card. It's more watches when I was a year ago back as soon yeah I got a free trip. Muzzled Sacramento. And you did pretty good for a year for human. Well I got I mean. I got to sit through like a cruise seminar. But I give them by got to buy tickets to the park but the center to sit through this crew seminar. I get a free voucher for an upcoming trip and on the second half of this loans free. Some kind of light half now half later times he'll just hotel already you get did it take you say the part two. Since the or about six. Any bad so that's that's that's our shared thing then. I guess generally boy had to net before. I'm just found so I know somebody who does it almost I think professionally. I guess somewhere like once a month and it's always a time share seminar. They've actually got a hat down. Where she pretends she's intuit and he plays the bad cop is like good cop bad cop. And you know he he almost will go to the point of making a scene so these salesman. Would this okay fine does go in Italy. Boy you got problems in mind as well. Abby big no. Very nice places semi big no and don't have to pay a dime if you're McConnell as the Mariners try to run economy and better than them might be worse than him the con con yeah you're until you can. I had no good. So yes yeah so you'll be able didn't go down and get a voucher for a future trip. Inane they gonna give view what three or four days in the hotel is that it isn't a Disney hotel you know. To finally be resort boasts resort you'll be staying at the all star since. One of them it's no drums and now they have those there that they have you know there there ain't it. For every ball is gonna hi how are I. I everywhere put my stuff they still hate mantra a small guy down there Holler hand prints as outlaws into last ends of yeah. Would you place daylight all stars some or whatever it's called now you know they got rid of the the the water tower with the ears on us all Karl yeah ring ring ring divisional bounce but. Once home went out when I was younger. Me and may read and feel and I playing Jill. We went to. We did one of those things we get to go to Fort Lauderdale. Which is you know attend in like eighty to 83 that would've been the place even just was like 899. The arm in housing near Angel realized it's time to small mom and dad. Would all they they would never analysts were going their ocean lakes it would never announce a vacation they just always wondered deal calling Colin. I get a car began to CEU mall Mars in my life that and then we end up in Florida you know they always wanted to be cold well we got a tricky they did edit Cherokee one time they said they would go into a separate church house. And all stuffer. And and then we ended up at some kind of amusement park Cherokee it's very important. Now I don't think a Santas and but it was one of those that he is now on all concerned but. Number camera. Colin Cameron either but what we went down there and big guy. It was a full week is not for days at a hotel I'll tell you the name was called the breakers if you've ever heard that. It says while it makes sense in men so we got one free dinner a day. And there in the hotel and it was a resort style kind of thing. And then you got there instructor for days. And we've never done it before like I remember going to Myrtle Beach is a kid and I remember going to see. I was like six or seven years old going to a time share thing so my daddy hand to guide can get a wooden nickel. Are you must have a commemorative emirate magnetic political points this and got a new commemorative button nickel or something. Obsolete out of Fort Lauderdale even as a as a young person I realized this was BS. They said we ABC betterment later this horse Sylvester Stallone lists and Fort Lauderdale share. And we I have three ought to ride which like fifteen minutes in a little circle and came back. It was so short that. The drink they gave me I'll still drink and at the end of the RR lets you work. So we go into this place called the breakers in my daddy let's say mom mamma in this is again to kids mom and dad. And my bases are married and I. I spin and no longer in thirty minutes and here we're gonna get a America we don't element which can afford it and then murder LA so. They're the guys is we have an arcade if the kids wanna go down there. The my daddy says is your furry. And the gases now in my days as our yells sitting here want a guy designated Oracle's doesn't quarters gives me an Angel. No longer than thirty minutes my eerie and we're gonna tell we can't afford it. Four hours later my momma and daddy had timeshare to the breakers are Romero now. The way it worked then and in May have changed now on a time shares really. I don't know what it's just a broken system so anyway with the breakers and I'm not talking poorly on them I'm talking poorly on all time share. You can let's say nine had a time share for the breakers and a walk Newton or page had it and Los Angeles or he's somewhere you know really. Upscaled nice take us through the ACLU are. You kid I can get a nine C nine I have time share here at the breakers in Fort Lauderdale would you like to trade. Nobody would trade for Fort Lauderdale because again this was after early eighty spring break Fort Lauderdale where did city basically look like downtown Marlee says now. Now their program. So. I guess it was. It's an analogue loophole her soprano legal mumbo Jumbo is said if you do within a certain kind of Tommy to cancel it. So what's my momma figured out that nobody wanted to trade. They ended up canceling that thing. But they they weren't sold to. You'll be neighbors would Sylvester Stallone for one week a year it's an even if he did we may never see him you'll. You can train go anywhere that we have they resort is always somebody was willing to trade would you music pre Internet so you got to call these people era regularly and nobody wanted to trade that trade down now you're. Don't rules are years from Fort Lauderdale bag man. I don't think and here's a vision bunch of people text and right now that they do this tip I don't think anything's wrong with it it's for is going in knowing that you're not. Going to per family you're not gonna buy Disney cruise right call mama how did you then have to give the nickel back. Now there's a difference do remember my momma wouldn't talk to thirty minutes for someone it to somebody owned. Grand strand on the main dragging in Myrtle Beach for a sand dollar. Let's say you can send dollars a Myrtle Beach you can finally the gay dolphins and Eagles which you can I'm on the beach. It's a weird thing where where it turns then right. How far out your own way we go to try to get some for free via your usual prayer Borges and pampered they're tired babe or sales pitch is down. I mean that's good that's torturous absolute torture me you're just torturing yourself into it. They they take it to the models and Macy's human and it's the high pressure sales Leo does some of the cells to look I've probably been and it does an album and mainly when I was in a Kidder teenager when my parents. Say they were here free and they would be all about it. I am I remember one time. 480%. Of it's no longer opened at stake in mail in Canada place. I'm my mama daddy that was their place to go for a birthday anniversary type thing palm. For a free dinner to stake it now mom momma and daddy and is and I don't remember that name has not rained a bit it's one of those expensive vacuums. So does he get the voucher. To get a steak and held my daddy schedule an appointment for them to come in. It was 83000. Dollar vacuum I kid he's this. Well the sales point was that as you were vacuuming its sprayed your home with the air freshener and smell really good. My mom and daddy ball that vacuum for 3000. Dollars jeans. Three got his one anyone even convene his big round when that you had to drag it wouldn't heals all Omar remember is that these same rained out so that dinner. Tuesday they'll cost them. About 3000 dollars into that vacuum is now in the corner of my mama's garrote you know there's still work. Most covered in cobwebs. Or Greg Brower is a woman's Taylor's old brown around silver club layout same on Soledad expensive back gives advice founded the thing that is your mammogram every room that auriemma rank more drama watery Stephens VHS tapes mile. That was gonna come back will timeshare business I see it yeah it's gonna. Happened just in the Hawaiian island. Technical Polynesian you'll do you do now going into bush trip this into bracelets. You know I think is in in in these bracelets open your rooms you pay for stuff with a the way morale callers or your arm girl. I know isn't next thing you know they're gonna try to put a chip in year out Palmer your hand you know that's been in the market and these did the three point. Racks in the universe. Listen anywhere by downloading these ultra cool weather that's three. I assume no matter where you are it's six of the world's cheapest plan. He's replay freedom planted racks.